Alone Time

Why do we avoid ourselves?
Why do we fight silence?
Why do we run away from solitude?

My granddaughter of 3 months sometimes fights a nap. We can tell by the sound of her crying. And we say lovingly, "don't fight it, honey." We know that we'll all be here when she wakes. The world will mostly be the same and she will be better for it.

I am just like that. I fight the grand need that I have to be alone and quiet. I wonder if I paid attention to the sound of my "crying," would I too say to myself, "don't fight it, honey.

After 20-30 minutes away, the world is mostly the same and I am better for it.

Blue Moon - it could happen

It’s New Year’s Eve and there’s going to be a blue moon tonight. Apparently there was an extra moon cycle in 2009 and that extra moon is called a “blue moon” and it happens… once in a blue moon. The last time it shined on New Year’s Eve was in 1990 and the next time will be in 2028. I’ll be honest; I didn’t know where the expression “once in a blue moon” came from. So, I looked it up.

The term has been around a long time generally meaning “never or an impossibility.” It has nothing to do with the color of the moon, except that “once in a blue moon” the moon appears to be blue. (This is not related to the extra moon cycle but rather the blue-ish tint often accompanies rare environmental events like wildfires or volcanic activity.

Now that we have some history of the phrase, let me ask you the question that I’ve been kicking around.

If the rare blue moon appears, then can I, a person who believes in the creator of the blue moon, open myself to other rarities? In other words, are there people or issues in my life that I have written off as “never or an impossibility?”

If the blue moon is actually not a “never or an impossibility” then maybe there’s hope for the other “never or impossible” things in my life.

Simplicity

One of my critiques of Buddhism has always been the undying simplicity of its suggestions. My western facilities don't want to believe that simple mindfulness really is the answer to my fretting. My busy schedule doesn't trust that simply taking a day off (really off) offers me rest. My soul has always believed that life is simply more complicated than that.

I've begun to read Original Self by Thomas Moore, author of Care of the Soul. He spoke of Thoreau's move to Walden Pond saying, "his interior life became more complicated as his life simplified."

I think that's what I've meant in my critique. It's not that simplicity or mindfulness or rest deny life's complexity; simplicity, mindfulness and rest reveal life's complexity. And when I simplify, when I am mindful, when I rest, I understand better.

Quote from Reynolds Price

"Nonetheless, I'm prepared to ask if one of the most damaging weaknesses of modern Christianity and of some of Judaism doesn't arise as a direct result of our passionate need to believe both in our individual freedom and our innate worth -- our deep rooted conviction that we deserve and have amply earned the particular close attention of God. That resulting weakness is most visible in the insistence by centuries of clergy and generations of hungry souls that God, the Maker and Keeper of billions of galaxies of stars and planets seething in the violence, is literally our personal father as well -- and a father, we're told, who is even more attentive and caring than the best of earthly fathers." ~ from Letter to a Man on Fire

I'm struck by the word "deserve" but the most intriguing part is the role of clergy as we seem to insist on belief in a construct of God that may not answer the pending questions of the human soul. For me personally, I would prefer a thoughtful, honest conversation about the questions of life than the assumed, albeit articulate, orthodox answer.

For me, God is in the questions not the answers. As long as we have all the answers, there is no mystery. And where is God but in mystery. Tertullian said, "Credo quia absurdum est," or "I believe because it is absurd."

The Gospel According to Sugarland

I'm back to posting about the book called "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron, attempting to reflect as a "Buddhist Christian."

The last chapter was on the universality of impermanence, suffering and egolessness. She argues that they are a gift if we accept them as part of life. When I encounter the idea that we nothing is permanent (impermanent), that life hurts (suffering) or that I am not in control (egolessness), I often feel as if the world is so vast. I wonder what my place is in such a great, big, out of control, moving, ever-changing place.

So much of the Christian tradition is about surrender. Call it letting go or call it trusting. If there be a God, and if that God as the Christian tradition suggests pursues us for relationship, then the world is a. changes, b. doesn't go my way, and c. is not in my control.

So as I meditated this morning, two songs came to mind from the country duo Sugarland that seem to speak to this: Keep You and It Happens. Enjoy.