Don't worry - it's not a discouraging search like one of those times where you're sure you've made the wrong choice in believing that there is a God. I'm in no danger with this search. It's not as if my faith is damaged beyond repair. It's that my faith has changed and probably is still changing - just like I am still changing. Therefore, hunting for God is a different exercise than it has been in the past.
My sister in law says that we all experience "qualifying events." A qualifying event happens when you walk through a life experience and find yourself changed at the end of it. You have learned, changed, grown, adjusted, and now you must get used to the world in your new clothes, with your new tools.
As always one of my occupational hazards is that I travel through life with a lot of folks who are constantly walking through qualifying events. And in the midst of their qualifying events, they too are "hunting for God."
For example, this summer a member of my church was in a very serious car accident in which he walked away without a scratch. Another member asks this question while shaking my hand after worship one Sunday, "Why is it that God saved him but doesn't save others? I'm having a hard time understanding where God is and where God isn't."
Another member makes an appointment a week later to talk about yet another loss, "my girlfriend has cancer - it looks like they'll be able to take care of it with surgery but why this? I've buried three husbands and two best friends to cancer. What role does God play in this, if any?"
There are other stories with similar questions. Perhaps you have stories and questions too.
What is the role of God in this, if any?
For the theologians out there, we're dabbling in the doctrine of the sovereignty of God. For the rest of us, we're trying to answer the age old question, "where is God when it hurts?" However you walk into these stories and questions, the answer is not simple. If it is to you - and I don't mean this to be hurtful - you haven't considered it from its many angles yet. God is not a simple concept. God is bigger than we can imagine, stranger than we think and cosmically more creative than the human mind and/or heart can conceive. And so trying to wrap our heads around where God is - or isn't - can't be consolidated into an answer that fits on a bumper sticker... but oh how folks have tried.
And so here's where I am with the stories and questions... I've decided to hunt for awhile. I've decided to look with intent, squint my eyes and imagine things a little distorted, turn my head to the side and wonder. I've even decided to say, "I don't know" and be ok with it. I'm on a hunt - and I'm not alone. There are others (and maybe you're one) who find you ourselves with different clothes and different tools this side of a qualifying event and we're simply not used to our new selves quite yet. And so hunting for God isn't like it used to be. Hunting for God has more colors and more wild animals and less places to hide in last year's dogma.
Jeremiah says that we will find God when we seek God with our whole heart.
My sisters recently told me a story about their childhood. Our parents live in NJ and TX and so we spent a lot of time on planes visiting for the summer. My youngest sisters played a game in the airport so that they could find one another. One would yell, "Marco" while they other responded, "Polo" until they found each other in the crowded airport. At the time they were probably 3 1/2 feet tall. They couldn't see over the crowds of people and they apparently weren't relying on the adults with them... they were going to search for themselves using their best idea - Marco/Polo.
I love the image of two tiny creatures ducking in and out of a sea of legs and luggage yelling, "Marco!" I can hear the silence amidst the loud crowd as one listens intently for the magic word, "Polo!" I can feel the joy as the Marcos got louder and the Polos met the Marcos. Searching with all of their heart. Hunting with the clothes and tools that they've got.
I'm getting used to my new clothes and tools and I'm hunting for God.
Be very quiet... I'm hunting for God.
0 comments:
Post a Comment
What do you think?