Being chased

It didn't take very long for me to realize that Pete and his two sons were the gift that I didn't know I wanted or needed. They're funny, clever, giving, and committed to one another. Once the eldest gave me a card that said something like, "If we were being chased in the jungle by a monster and you fell, I'd go back for you." And then these handwritten words were added, "and the youngest would kill the monster."

I wondered at the time if they had any idea what I would do to a monster that was chasing either of them!


Dinner at our house is nothing short of magic. Conversation begins the minute two or three have gathered and you gotta hold on and try to keep up. We don't have grammar police (although we have opinions about grammar and the development of language in general), instead we have science and theology police. You gotta have tight science and/or theology in our house. All conversation runs through a fine tuned understanding of how the world works, taking into consideration what we know and what we don't know, etc...

There's always one moment when we have gathered around the table when I submit a mental picture as evidence of best gift that God ever gave me... and I never asked for this.

I didn't think I wanted to be a mom. And yet I can't imagine my life without my family. I wasn't sure that I could manage a career as a pastor and be a good wife. Yet, Pete is the most amazing partner for me.

Sometimes the best things come as a surprise. Sometimes we really need things that we would never ask for.

And then there are some things that we know we don't want and we never ask for them either... but they happen anyway. For example, I didn't ask for Pete to get MS and I don't believe that it is a gift from God. But if I am honest, I am a better person because of it. I have had to look seriously at myself, my motivation and my selfishness. I have learned to live with less stuff and more love. I have experienced more sadness and deeper intimacy. My life is richer and more valuable than ever before and I hold onto it tight.

And sometimes it feels like MS is chasing us. On a bad day, I act like momma bear and fight and shout and cling to that which I don't want it to take. On a good day, I truly believe, there's no way MS can hold on and keep up with us.